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10 simple tips for surviving vacations with teenagers

Teenage trips: From hitting the dance floor to hitting the bottle, 10 sanity-saving tips for happy trips with terrible teen(s).

Vacationing with teenagers is a challenge for any parent. So how do ensure your family vacation for the ages while holding onto some semblance of sanity? Here are a few suggestions to get you through the trip.

1. Treat them like an adult

‘I’m not a kid anymore’, they wail (while acting like a six year-old). So send them off on holiday on their own and see how they cope. If they think they’re old enough to smoke/drink/go to the club, they’re old enough to go on a volunteering trip to rebuild some third-world nation. Which is probably not what they had in mind, but that’s the deal. Forget Ibiza, and stop whinging, you brat.

2. Treat them like a teenager

One minute they hate you because no-one else’s parents make them be home by midnight (it’s so unfair) and the next, they want their mom. Don’t expect them to behave like an adult. Don’t expect them to enjoy museums and archaeological sites. Don’t expect them to help you out when you are ineptly failing to book train tickets in French, even though they got an A for it at school. Their teenage years are heartbreakingly difficult enough, so let them mope about the house watching Twilight if they want to.

3. You can’t buy happiness

Despite all your efforts to buy them happiness with dream vacations in the sun, it won’t work. Telling them that you’ve worked hard all year to pay for this holiday just to put a smile on their face won’t make them appreciate your efforts. Family fun? They’d prefer it if you left them alone in their hotel room to listen to some Morrissey. Yes, of course they could have that done at home, at a great deal less expense, but stop bugging them, OK.

4. Give them space

It may seem to make economic sense to just book one room and add an extra bed for your wee one, but it isn’t. There comes a time when your offspring become cumbersome in confined spaces, like an usurping cuckoo or a gawky, squawking pelican chick that has outgrown the nest but is still functionally useless. Beware growth spurts – a lot can happen between booking in January and going away in July.

5. Food is not necessarily glorious

You may love exotic food, and maybe your teens will want to show off to their friends that they ate scorpions in Bangkok, but many are a little picky in their eating habits. Choose restaurants where friendly foodstuffs like pizza are served under the same roof as the region’s specialties that you’ve seen on the Travel Channel. And don’t assume that a kids’ menu means chicken nuggets and fries – it might just mean a small serving of scorpions.

6. Master the art of travel

Getting to the airport on time, remembering to pack your hair straighteners… going on holiday can be stressful. Master the basics of art of travel before even thinking about throwing teenagers into the mix. Bone up with our advice on 8 ways to ruin your vacation.

7. Sangria is the answer?

A purely medicinal pitcher or two of sangria may give you a dose of the vacation spirit, despite the best efforts of your moody offspring to make you think you should have put them into kennels for a while you’re away. But don’t overdo it. It’s a balance between making it better and making a scene. At least when you’re on holiday there’s no shame in drinking before 11am.

8. Act your age?

The vacation spirit, and probably the aforementioned sangria, may loosen your inhibitions, but it’s a cardinal sin to act like a teenager in front of yours. So stay away from the clubs. However, in all probability they’ll be so embarrassed by your attempts to dance that they’ll never want to go on holiday with you again. Result!

9. Look to the future

Console yourself that soon you’ll be able to travel without them. The empty nester’s grief is short-lived: you’ll get over it. Think of the money you’ll save by going outside the school breaks. Read those smug articles that say ‘Tuscany is at its peaceful best in September’. Look forward to blissful weekends wandering around New York City and being able to stay out ‘til 7am partying like a wild child in Las Vegas, without troublesome teens in tow.

10. Have a good time!

Consider the possibility that you might actually have a good time on your vacation. Free from the pressures of their peers, it’s possible that your dear teens will actually resemble human beings. You could bond over a white-water rafting experience, and earn their respect on the dance floor. It’ll all be back to normal as soon as you get home/sober up, but they’ll thank you for it one day… when they understand what it’s like to be a parent. Until then, happy holidays!

Got any good tips on vacationing with teenagers? Feel free to share them with us.

Adapted from an original article by James Teideman